A Hello to Heaven

Six weeks ago, we received the most wonderful news we could get - we were going to have another baby!  Immediately your excited thoughts go to your expanding family, how your loved ones will react, the changes that will ensue, and of course the instantaneous love you feel for this new life.  However, God had a different plan for our precious little one.  At 7 weeks 5 days into my pregnancy, our little angel's heart stopped beating and it went to be with our Lord in Heaven.

We have had a difficult week of trying to understand our grief, comforting each other, crying, feelings of guilt, sadness, and a deep feeling of loss that is unexplainable.  We never got to listen to our little angel's heartbeat, yet in its short little life it brought happiness into our world.  We got a glimpse into the love Trey will feel for a new baby (he liked to tell us he was "sweet" and would "hug baby".)  We understood that our hearts really do make more room when another child enters your world.  We enjoyed getting to talk about our family and the beautiful ways in which it would change.

We learned a lot throughout this week, about each other and about ourselves.  I learned that I couldn't have married a more caring, wonderful man.  Brian's shoulder has been hugged and cried on more times this week and he has nothing but a strong arm to support me and kind words to comfort me.  I also learned that he makes an amazing chocolate chip cookie and doesn't mind if I want to eat macaroni and cheese 3 days in a row.  We learned that Trey is very intuitive to our moods and adjusts his accordingly.  He has been amazing and has been allowing Mommy and Daddy more hugs than usual.  Our families have been incredibly supportive also - thank you for the countless conversations and listening to our thoughts.  Most importantly, thank you for the prayers.

When Trey was born, we experienced first hand the power of prayer.  I feel like that is what carried us through one of the most difficult things we have ever had to experience.  Grief is difficult and is hard to understand.  I do understand that God has a plan for us and for our family, and I trust in Him to guide us to the right path and the right decisions.  Although we don't understand why our little angel was taken from us so soon and our hearts are breaking, our faith is unshaken.  Please continue to pray for our strength.

There are many things people do after a loss of an unborn baby.  Many name it, many do something special to commemorate its due date, others choose to create a special memory.  My momma bought us a special red bud tree so that when we move, we will have a beautiful reminder of our precious angel in Heaven.  Brian wants to seek out a children's charity and make a donation in the name of "Baby Brendel".  I decided we would send a "hello to heaven."  We each wrote a note to the baby, attached it to a balloon, and released it in one of the most beautiful national parks in the country.  We watched it as it disappeared into the clouds, and hope that our little angel read our words and knows that not only do we love it, but look forward to meeting it one day in Heaven.  Here is our "hello to heaven".

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6   

My big boy's "big boy" room

Trey started sleeping in his own "big boy" bed about 6 weeks ago.  Since then, I have taken down all things baby.  His precious transportation themed nursery is boxed and put away and I was faced with how to decorate his new room!  I knew I wanted to keep the airplane quilt from my momma, and Boppie's vintage trains would stay up as well.  Problem solved: stick with transportation!  Trey loves anything that goes, so I think it works.  He hasn't let me know otherwise, so I am guessing I did okay.  :)

Here are some pictures from his room.  Looking at it from this picture, I might move his name somewhere else... it looks a bit small on that wall.  Haha I am always changing something!!

 

I painted this airplane to match his quilt.

This is a set of "book hammocks" that my friend Cicely's in-laws made for me!  They solved a huge issue I had with space and ease of finding favorite books.  I switch all Trey's books out intermittently  now instead of have all of them available.  (It makes much less of a mess when he decides to sit and read all of his books!)  I painted the train picture above the shelves.  I was inspired by a pottery barn canvas piece that used tractors and bicycles. 

 

This is a view of his dresser and bookshelf.  I hate where the bookshelf is, but it is literally the only space we have for it since nothing can go in front of the heater below his window.  (And we attached it to the wall so it wouldn't topple over.  It is also covering a huge hole I made in the wall while trying to complete said attachment!  Needless to say, ugly or not, the shelf stays.)  The shelf serves a purpose though: all his cars, trains, trucks, and board books have homes inside the blue fabric bins.

These are some pictures that I made out of paper then framed to fit the theme.

Lastly, this is a picture of Trey running around with a golf club.  Couldn't resist getting him in on the blog too... after all, this is his room to live, love, and play in!

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

and dirt.  That's what little boys are made of!  (I say that with all the love in my heart.)  Boys love dirt.  I have tried (but to no avail) to keep him clean for two years, but Trey is drawn to it.  Every morning he chooses to walk down the dirt path rather than the stairs, telling me, "Trey in dirt Mama!"  I smile and pretend not to worry that my floorboards will soon be covered in that same dirt.  I am raising a little boy I remind myself... not a pristine little girl!

Last weekend we went camping.  We had never been to this campground before and it was east of the Cascade mountain range making it much warmer, much drier, and much dustier.  Having arrived a bit later than we should have, we missed the good (grass-covered) campgrounds by the river.  We settled on a dusty clearing a little ways from the campground.

To keep Trey occupied while we unpacked camping stuff, I gave him a bucket and a shovel... (notice the dirt around his mouth.)

These pictures were taken within an hour of us arriving at our campground.  Needless to say, he had a blast.  I, however, was grateful for all the wet wipes I brought (we went through 3 packages in two days!)

To Forks and Back Again: The Unexpected 11 Hour Adventure

I am a huge Twilight fan.  The series of books ranked among my top favorites, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.  I have read them twice in the past three years and am anticipating reading them again when the weather turns foul.  I tend to do that with my favorites... a great author knows how to intrigue you every time you read it, whether it is your first or fifth time.   A really great author makes you want to visit the town in which their story was set... since I can't go to Hogwarts or the Shire, Forks would be my first literary destination trip.

Stephanie Meyer chose a remote, little town on the Olympic Peninsula for the setting of her now famous series.  Forks has a population of 3,500 people, gray, rainy weather (great for vampires) and absolutely nothing else in the town.  Twilight put it on the map!  You can imagine my extreme excitement to discover that we lived within driving distance of Forks, Washington!  It took us two years, but we (I) finally decided to make the 4 hour drive to camp in the Olympic National Park on what was supposed to be the most beautiful (and warmest) weekend we have seen this summer.  The problem according to Brian: "All campsites are first come, first served.  This isn't the best weekend to go."  Allison's retort: "Surely over 200 campsites will not  all be taken by the time we get there, right?"

All the campsites were taken.  We had driven 5 hours (we got stuck in some unexpected traffic) with a car full of camping supplies, a two year old (who was phenomenal, thanks to Thomas the Train), a very disappointed Twilight fan, and a gloating, but very patient, husband.  After driving up to our fifth site, we gave up.

Our trip was not a total bust though.  Several of the things on my Washington "bucket list" were to see the Hoh Rainforest (one of the few temperate rainforests in the world), see the Pacific Ocean, and (most importantly) visit Forks, Washington.

Unfortunately in my excitement to get to Forks (are you sensing my excitement/obsession?) I didn't take a picture of the rainforest when we passed through.  It is not unlike a lot of the pictures we have from previous hikes.  However, here is a picture to show you just how rare a temperate rainforest is (green area):

 

Next on my bucket list: see the Pacific Ocean.  We arrived to the West Coast at about 30 minutes to sunset.  We let Trey out of the car, and this is what he did...

(He took off running as fast as he could, grabbed a stick, then started running again.  I think he was afraid we might stick him back in the car!)

This was an absolutely breathtaking beach.  There weren't any shells, just smooth, gray rocks.  The sea stacks (giant rocks sticking out of the water) were stunning and made for a beautiful view.  

Behind the beach you could see the forest.  It was hard to believe we were at the beach when your back was to the water - I thought palm trees were the only trees that lived by the beach!  Driftwood littered the beach as well.  It made for a great jungle gym.

The sunset over the water was incredible...

Finally friends... the pictures you have been waiting for... 

That's it.  Were you waiting for a vampire to jump out, or a spectacular view of some sort?  Me too.  There are still a few things I wish I could have seen, but as you can see, it was dark and I had exhausted the patience of both Brian and Trey.  They must love me a whole lot to let me drag them 11 hours in one evening without so much as a whimper or fuss.  I did however get a very small (but very deserved!) "I told you so."  :)

Happy 2nd Birthday, Trey!

How does time pass by so quickly?  Two years ago, Brian and I brought the most beautiful little boy into the world and our life changed in the most miraculous way.  We have cherished every smile, hug, and laugh... we have celebrated first steps, first words, and proud moments... we have kissed boo-boos, rocked him back to sleep, had our patience tested, and had our patience rewarded.  Trey is the most amazing gift we have ever received and there is not a night that goes by that we don't thank God for our precious blessing!

Now let me dry my nostalgic tears and share all of our party details with you.  :)  I did a "Chuga, Chuga, Choo, Choo... All Aboard, Trey's Turning Two!" theme and made all the decorations to go with it.

The birthday boy had so much fun seeing all his family and friends!  We also loved getting the chance to celebrate this momentous occasion with everyone.

The best part about a birthday party is the CAKE!  Trey didn't seem especially excited about his cupcake on his birthday, but oh my goodness he enjoyed getting to help make the icing the night before with Nana and Aunt Bebe!  (Notice the hint of chocolate around his mouth...)

As we sang happy birthday to Trey, I loved getting to watch his  little eyes light up as he looked around at everyone.

Everyone though Aunt Bebe gave Trey trick candles... but he finally blew them out!

 

What's a party in Texas without some watermelon and a new pair of boots?

We had a blast at Trey's party and so did Trey.  Happy birthday to my little boy!

Let me tell you 'bout my best friend...

Who should be singing this song?  

Our family is lucky enough to have found best friends in another family that we have shared many of the same experiences with throughout the years.  We met them in Galveston when Brian and Tyson were entering UTMB.  Kayla and I didn't take long to click and have grown even closer as our lives further paralleled each other's: residency, moving to new cities, and most currently, babies!  Trey and Rylan were destined to be best friends and they get along beautifully.  The Purdy family made the 12 hour drive from Muleshoe especially for us, and I couldn't be more grateful.  We love them all like they are our family and we were thrilled that we got to spend time with them during our Texas visit!

Watching the boys play was so fun - they played with each other like brothers!  They tackled, shared, laughed, chased, and rough-housed.

The grown-ups were lucky enough to get in some catch-up time too!

Home Sweet Texas

After what has seemed like quite a long vacation from my blog, I am returning with lots to say and report!  Trey and I took a long overdue trip to Texas to visit family and friends and enjoy the sweet, sweet, sunshine.  Although the temperature never dropped below 95 degrees during the day, I soaked up the heat as much as I could.  I was constantly wondering how I could bring it up to Washington...  Because I came back with over 1200 pictures from our trip (no worries for you though, I have narrowed it down), I will let the pictures do the talking.

Who better to teach my little boy baseball than Papa?  While under Papa's roof, Trey learned to run the bases, slide, and yell "Fafe!"  (haha Trey-speak for "safe".)

 

 For Papa's birthday we got to visit Galveston, play on the beach, and eat at the Spot.  Aunt Bebe took him into the Gulf of Mexico for the first time!  He had so much fun, we had a difficult time getting him out.

Trey helped Nana a lot while we were in Texas.  His chores were feeding Amelia and helping Nana with yard work and watering.  His favorite was watering the flowers!  I have always loved helping my momma around the house because I usually end up learning a thing or two that I store away to use for my own home.

We visited Memi and Boppie, and helped Boppie celebrate his birthday...  Trey sang "Happy Birthday, Boppie" for days afterward!  I have lots of memories of helping Memi in her kitchen, and I was glad Trey got to start making memories like that too!  Boppie had such a surprise for us - he had come so far with his model train town!  Trey is so impressed with trains right now and couldn't get enough of it.   

We saw Mawmaw and Grandpa Royce also.  They got Trey a truck that Trey "vroomed" around for the rest of our trip!  Mawmaw was a trooper when Trey decided he wanted her to keep going outside in 100+ degree heat!  But like a good grandmother does, she indulged him when he looked up and batted his eyelashes at her...

Some other fun pictures from our trip...

Britty and I don't get to see each other very often, so I cherish the time we get when we are in the same part of the country!

I got to meet my new baby cousin, little baby Robbie, when he was only 1 day old!  Trey was very curious and wasn't sure what to do when his mama's hands were busy holding another baby...

The Spot in Galveston

The hardest party about living so far away is missing my family.  Modern technology is no substitute for sitting in my Momma's kitchen, sitting on the backyard with my dad, or getting a hug from those you miss most.  I always say that I get the most homesick right before I go back to Texas... but our magnificent time with family was absolutely the most wonderful cure for it!